B-movie Buffet: The Stuff

stuff

Prologue:
  Spawned from an earlier outing to see “Hobo With a Shotgun” and enlivened by an intense bowl of noodles, I thought it was time to create my own dishes to go with a few hit flicks that stoked the bubbling cauldron of movies condemned to the mainstream masses shit-list. Dishes paired with the energy of the film- a taste of the action, a slurp of the sensational and a bite of the best B movies out there(or at least in my archive). Now there is great debate as to what makes a film a B movie. In my eyes it has to be a cult classic, something that was never a huge cinema hit, or in general was not highly regarded by the contemporary cinema going audience. Mainly a mixed bag of thrillers, sci-fi and horror, they are prized by a select awesome few. As the articles roll out you’ll get the idea.

The Movie: The Stuff

Would you eat edible white globs of stuff that comes straight out of a hole in the ground? Why not, it tastes great, you don’t get tired and there aren’t any calories. Add a powerful marketing campaign and you’re sold. Don’t worry that no one knows what the hell it is and what it’s doing to you and your family. The Stuff is so damn addictive you’ll be down the supermarket for your next fix in no time.

But competitors in the dessert field are pissed that this mystery product is taking over. Time to bring in an industrial saboteur to bust up the strange goo’s operations. The more he figures things out, the more it’s time to get rid of that pot of ‘Stuff’ in your fridge. If you notice your family trying to force it upon you, then it’s time bolt from the house and don’t look back. Your family are goners; drones, taken over by the supremely delicious and deadly sweet white symbiote.

This toasted sandwich is filled with the safer alternative, Fluff: a pure marshmallow treat, sticky and invasive but not deadly. Lurking within the folds of fluff is whole-nut peanut butter. This combo has had a healthy relationship for many years and helps you keep your chin-up when you’re feeling empty inside. The edible blood is for effect and should not be substituted for real blood. Nothing ethical, just wouldn’t taste right in this sandwich.

“It’s called the Stuff, and believe me enough is never enough.”–“G.N.”

check out more b-movie articles: https://thebrokenspork.com/category/bmovie/

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Categories: bmovie, Dishes

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